During Thanksgiving dinner, I started a tradition a few years ago with my family. We write down and then share what each of us are thankful for on a note card. I save them. This year, I asked them to also add one thing they learned in the past year.
My one kid, she’s just like me. Introspective. My others, are in the moment. All great answers allowing me to see where they are in their reflective journey.
As I read mine, I couldn’t help wonder how far I’ve come. And, I sure wish it had happened sooner. However, I know better – things take time. Some things take more time than others. And with my relapse recently, I was able to rebound faster, stronger and catapult myself further in the learning curve.
I’m grateful for learning how to put myself first before others. Although I needed a big reminder this year.
I’ve always thought of others first. Not to make them happy, but little things in which I consider as sharing. It has probably come off more like “it’s all about me.” When in reality, I’m just trying to communicate. For example;
I’d go nuts trying to make plans for Thanksgiving so that we were informed about family member’s plans. And, they too were informed and whatever was decided would be fine. I’d just like to know so that, you knew I didn’t exclude you. Because if you want to be included, we always have room at our table for you. Do you want to come? Do you have plans? You know how to get a hold of me, right?
This year, I didn’t do it. And it was making me hurt inside. I didn’t purposefully call, because for once, I just wanted to make plans and do it. Not consult with anyone, check in on anyone or for that matter extend an invitation (unless they inquired – which my older son did – so props to him).
The lesson I learned was, do things first for me – and my immediate family. I was so busy trying to create memories for them, I forgot to make my own memories.
And so, this year I wrote on my Thanksgiving note card – I learned to stop worrying about everyone first. To continue forward doing what I need first. I think that should be on everyone’s Thanksgiving note card. And a T-shirt!
LESSON FOR YOU:
You know what’s exactly right for you. When you put yourself first, you’re not being selfish, in fact it’s the opposite. You’re cultivating healthy habits making you available for others.
Do you agree?